bleh. got a lot of deadlines to get through, the stress is leaving me prickly and irritable and generally not fun to be around. pity the live-in boyfriend.
due to the joy of stress, I’m getting torn up by a lot of feelings of inadequacy an worthlessness. I want to be able to write at a compete, professional, respectable, Oxford-graduate level, but I can’t. I want to have a regular updating webcomic, but there’s no chance. I want to serenade by beloved but I can’t play guitar well enough. I can’t do anything much right now.
My agenda currently goes like this:
– writewritewrite. this is hard because nothing i write feels good enough and i’m being powered mostly by pressure instead of motivation.
– read books and comics. improves writing style and art style respectively.
– play a little guitar. not putting any real pressure on learning right now because my current level at fail when it comes to memorizing chords/notes and playing quickly makes me emo. D=
– practice inking. due to my free-flowing sketching habits I’m bad at having a steady tablet hand and creating clean lineart. this is frustrating but i’m not going to focus on it right now.
– working on a wholly original art style. yeah, I know, I’m a fool.
– practicing more with traditional media. because traditional work has a kind of magic to it that digital work can never have.
– be a good girlfriend. ‘cos i loose all motivation and will to work when depressed, and without a stable relationship I loose the ability to keep myself on track and fall off the tracks for a while. happiness + love = creativity.
– sort out the dragontamers.net. again, o pressure ‘cos used-goods is functioning fine.
– add a gallery to used-goods.net. bo pressure to do this ‘cos Gallery is annoying.
– add a webcomic or two (or three or four) to used-goods.net, using iStrip or Comicpress. no rush ‘cos I still don’t really have the skill in digital art for it.
bleeeeeh.
I think once I’m finished the rewrite I’m going to relax and read constantly for a while, do some short stories and new projects, and generall polish up my style a bit.
hope everyone’s doing ok. =]
e.maree
xoxo